See idk now I’m over analyzing everything and I feel the need to change so much. Not necessarily what I do but how I do it. See the thing is that I know I wasn’t pulling a scandal, but people were telling me I was and making me feel like I was and then my friends tell me that I wasn’t and I mean I was drunk yes, but not in a bad way. Idk everyone was being nice to me and then all of a sudden it was a “scandal” . Something that was never meant to happen and if I would’ve known it was such a big deal then I wouldve shut up but people were confusing the shit outta me . Handing me bread and water trying to sober me up .. Um hold on? I’m okay seriously I can handle myself and I know my limits but sorry that I was the only drunk one there? Trying to enjoy that feeling. but okay so say I was pulling a scandal… The worst feeling in the world is having people talk shit on you. People tell me oh who cares what others think .. Well unfortunately I do. I do care and am scared of it because I’m not strong and I’ve accepted that. But I also do everything I can to prevent people from having to say anything and honestly it works a lot and I haven’t had issues or drama in a while. But when people start talking shit on you then that’s where the drama starts. And I DO NOT do drama that’s why I do what I can to keep on people’s good side and I do I always do . I guess it can’t happen every time but it kills me when it does. Like this, seriously haven’t stopped thinking about it since last night. And it’s killing me. I just want to go back and just shut my mouth. It seems like you can only get to know a person so much before they open their mouths. And the thing is, everyone was being so fake to me. So wtf all that taught me was to never trust people or be yourself around them and to just shut your damn mouth. When im drunk I can handle myself I will prove that to everyone.. I can stay calm and not talk and I will. If you don’t want me to pull a scandal then I won’t trust me but don’t talk shit when your tryin to talk to me and I barely say two words to you. Because at this point everyone turns out to be nothing but another fucking disappointment. people just suck and are fake and mean and they feed on drama and I just can’t afford to have anymore negative energy. Too much is already is surrounding me within and when I go out and try to have a good time and be positive someone has to bring a negative vibe and I’m just done with that and hearing about it. So like I said its better not to say shit. I just can’t wait to go out again and prove to these people that I’m not a mess and I can handle my alcohol. Which I was that night I obviously drove myself home ? Whatever. Fuck everyone
